In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
