I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
