Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
