And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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