I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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