Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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