oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
