I puked a lego.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
