jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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