Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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