also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize