I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
