We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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