thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
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I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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