If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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