the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
