she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
