Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize