We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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