SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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