She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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