No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize