One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
