Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
