Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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