Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
