I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
