I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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