are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
