he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
