so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
