hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
