I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize