Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
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What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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