you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
