It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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