i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
