He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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