I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
