grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
