Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
