You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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