I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
