She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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