it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
