I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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