I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
