So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
