my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
