4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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