I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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