you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
