I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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