If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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