I can't watch pbs sober anymore
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
