i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
