I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
