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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr

  (480): View more from Arizona

  truly a win in your book

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.

  (210): View more from Texas

  Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.

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