We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
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Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
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Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.