just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
