i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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