there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
