3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
