Non-Jews are for practice
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
