Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
