shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.