whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.