Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
