they're staring at me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
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Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.